Kids have a terrible taste in video games

A few months ago, I asked my 7-year-old son what kind of video games he wanted for Christmas. The list he returned was made for a depressing reading.

Of course, at the top is something like this: Among us..

Video game versions of social deduction games like the Mafia and Werewolf, Very popular among us You risk swallowing all other forms of entertainment, such as movies, television and toys. all -Like a Skittles snack-sized bag.

The second was Roblox. This is a set of weird creation tools that kids mainly use to create, upload, and play with an endless list of cruel video game lip-offs. Watching kids play Roblox is a shortcut to madness. The purest form of brain worm.

Third on the list: A game called “Zooba”. Zuba?? What is Zuba on God’s Green Earth?

Good question.

According to a rough Google search, Zuba is a free battle royale fighting game where you fight until the animals die. But I hadn’t literally heard of Zuba until my son clumsyly spelled it on a purple sticky note. I still have only a basic idea of ​​what Zooba is. And to be honest, I don’t want to dig deeper into that rabbit hole.

The kids-mostly my kids-are terrible, Terrible The taste of video games.

As a journalist who spent most of his career covering video games, my home is a treasure trove that most adults, not to mention children, spit on. With a PS5, two Nintendo Switches, and an Xbox Series X, you have easy access to almost every major video game release. It may be accessible a few weeks in advance.

With almost all the classic major releases of the last decade available out of the box, my kids choose a weird bottom feeder game that can be played for free on the iPad about doing flips on BMX. Human Fall Flat, a strange ass game … I think humans will fall flat. Who knows

Then there is Goat simulator..

For two months my kids played nothing But the meme game Goat Simulator was basically weird when it was first released … 7 years ago in 2014.

They may be playing Mario, or Rayman Legends, or the will of Ori and the Blind. They … may be playing something other than a goat simulator!

These choices are not in vacuum. Driven by YouTuber and amplified by strange algorithms, they appear in the evolutionary swamps of the playground. There, between dental floss and tapping, kids exchange tips for terrible video games that then need to torture their parents. Children no longer play tag or hide-and-seek.No, they nominate “scammers”, play among us, then go home and ask unhappy parents to install Fortnite With an iPad designed for “homework”.

Later, they may troll the App Store and watch endless trailers of terrible free games designed to ruthlessly drain loot from credit cards. It’s a constantly changing nightmare, and the end result is disastrous. We have a whole population of children who have a terrible taste to God in video games.

I didn’t expect this. As a childless (reading: easygoing) adult, I always imagined myself as a “cool dad.” I like new music, I get … stuff, I pass the “vibe check”.In my worst nightmare, I never imagined my precious things video game It will be a medium that makes you feel like an unruly grandpa who refuses to move with the times, but it is here.

But is this the same? Have you ever made your parents a radio dial glued to classic rock, complaining that hip-hop isn’t “real music”? That’s definitely part of it.

Still with Roblox [shudder] Bloody Zuba Not Grandmaster Flash and Cool Herc. There are few seismic changes that the stubborn middle-aged brain cannot adapt to. It’s like children being attacked by apps and algorithms collectively and uncritically beyond understanding. My son doesn’t know that the free play mechanism is often exploitative. He is 7 years old He doesn’t really understand the difference between elaborate experiences like Mario Galaxy and Lucky’s Tale. He is happy to have a controller in his hand.

I think the kids are okay-and it’s my job to steer me right. understood. But the tide is strong. Playground politics and peer pressure are a burden of parental opposition, especially when boosted by social media and YouTube. But I’m trying. I’m doing my worst effort to teach kids what a good video game looks like. To impose my own tastes on them, as all good parents should beat them.

The sooner I like what I like, the better this pee bagger is. That’s all about being a parent, right?

correct.